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The last day has arrived like a hearse at a viewing. This will be an emotional day. Yesterday was Haiti's national celebration of children day, it didn't feel too different to us. Everyday here has been a grand dedication of them. As we decorated colorful masks, broke out in random dancing, ate fresh food, watched dance battles, and shared laughing fits, this was just an organized day with costumes. The nights run longer now as our relationships have grown deeper. Like a mother witnessing the transition of a child, we are soaking up these final opportunities. Moments filled with big and small vows alike. Tears shed and shared as the kids and us try to imagine life without one another. Hearts pound like steel drums in our chest as we long to provide all their needs, but only have minimal material and infinite love. We are nervous about the future and humbled that our power is limited. Surely, God is sovereign.

We ALL woke up hot, sweaty and tired as last night was one of the hottest. The generator went out again, so no fans. It was rough. Anyway, breakfast spaghetti was good. I shaved after and trimmed my, what had become, wild beard. I took out my braids and quickly determined how unwise it was and Sam thankfully re-did them. A large group of the children went to some event in celebration for National Children's Day. We ran by the bus as they left screaming and cheering like they did for us. We were so proud. I gave Coffy my camera and he recorded a 30-minute video which I had to erase and took some great pics. We had a good lunch, a devo during which I was falling asleep, a discussion about our certainty of Heaven, and then a great nap on the back porch once again. Then, we were supposed to help set things up for the expected 500 people, but Darren, Stephen and I got to talking about how great college is. Dignitaries and other orphans started to arrive. Food was served, some dances began, and our kids came back. I missed them SO MUCH for those few hours. There were some skits, Matt did a step, we all did the Cupid Shuffle as our talent, Watson's homeless man dance, Edmond's incredibly cute skit, and much more. It was over, people left, music was still booming and the festivities continued. The kids are starting to ask for a lot now that they know we'll be leaving soon. It makes me feel unsure about the genuineness of their love this whole time, but I shouldn't and will fight not to. I enjoyed laughing with my student David as he tried to negotiate how many notebooks I needed to give him. I loved laying under the stars with Coffy, older David, and Felipe as they all showed their different love languages. I've loved learning from Kyle to song lead. I had a great vulnerable talk with Chi Chi about dating and parenthood and such. Chi Chi lost her phone. Yikes. Sleep time.
Reads-With-Hot-Tears-Mingled-With-Laughter a.k.a. Fellow Poet
6/18/2012 17:06:03

pI feel I need to rename myself from "Fellow poet" to a Dances with Wolves inspired name like "Reads-With-Hot-Tears-Mingled-With-Laughter"... My face is wet from picturing the scene of embraces too short-lived and hearts torn by the knowledge of a too-long goodbye. I felt the children's returned embraces and my heart felt heavy. I laughed aloud as I shared in the laughter you described even as I recalled that exact sound heard, now what seems like months ago. My heart sang with joy and my spirit leapt in its own unique dance as I pictured myself among you workers of righteousness dancing before the Lord so like King David danced among his people. I am awed by the beauty and even the ugly fringes that both serve to paint on a canvas of God's design. I can neither add nor take away from what is so often seen by us in terms of black&white or good&bad. Where would one be without the other? No light without the darkness... I simply humble myself before an Almighty God who has a GOOD purpose in all He does. I beg not to be an instrument of wrath or an object consumed by his JUST WRATH but rather a holy member of His church with my own scars and my own sordid yet forgiven past. I beg to be continually given the GIFT of repentance so I strive to humble myself before my JEALOUS GOD. I, too, become jealous for Him and ZEALOUS WITH KNOWLEDGE to protect the integrity of His message that is for all. Oh, please help me when I stumble. Reach down to pick me up and I promise not to pull anyone down. Teach me faithful obedience and gentleness. Oh, God, remove the criticism that so often resonates in my speech and visage. Wash me in the blood of Jesus to make me as white as snow. See, God, my lamp is burning & I will not give away the oil lest mine burn out, my robe is freshly washed and white, I am ready to be used and am preparing for Your return.

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